Just Another Day to Begin.

What if.. December 21st is just another day?
What if you woke up today and everything seemed to be just like the day before? 
What if something passed through our sleeping, vulnerable mind?
What if a change occurred?
What if it was a change in our conscience as a humankind?
What if suddenly everyone became aware that something was different.
What if it was easy to love.
Not possessive love. 
Love through believing.
Maybe a mass consciousness of human beings will believe finally love IS the way, the truth, and the life. 
What if you woke up today and felt different. 
What if you only had the capacity to love your neighbor as yourself. 
What if you woke today and you just knew your heart was opened wider. 
What if today the more people you past by the more love you felt for each of them. 
What if today you talked to a friend and noticed them with a new light and they in you.
What if Christ's love woke you up with blinding white light.
What if it encompassed your whole vision?
Like you've suddenly went blind
And had no control of opening and closing your eyes
You couldn't see anything at all but brilliant light.
All you could do was believe in the light.
What if that all occurs within us, and we have the choice to live in that light or fight against it within ourselves. 

"Fear not, for I am with thee"  Isaiah 41:10

"Be still and know I am God" Psalm 46:10

"The only thing to fear, is fear itself." FDR
"All the commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and so on, are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbor as yourself." Jesus Christ
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  John 13:34

Choose to live in love. Nothing else. 


Not in fear. Not in judgement. Not in selfishness. Not in denial.

Jericho.

In the end, you don't need to learn another hard lesson.
You need nothing but to walk in trust.

passion

I am not a madman

I'm a lover

I lose myself in love

and go mad

Fishing Brothers

If

If I were a train, I'd be late.

I failed, and the only thing good I can hope for is change.

Canadian Island

"Life is what you're missing while you aren't making plans."  

- Luke Daniel Mathers

"I AM the way, the truth, and the light."  - Jesus Christ

Matthew 18  1In that hour came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? 2And he called to him a little child, and set him in the midst of them, 3and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me: 6But whoso shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it is profitable for him that a great millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depth of the sea.

I am
from then on
the simpler of men
the wooliest of fools
the singleton of squares
the blissing mind of windmills
the pedal flight of flowers
the hardest cornerstone
the sign thats always shown

James Kurilla Giftwoods

the beach boys, pet sounds

Since birth, music has been close to my ears. Recently, I rediscovered a song that blew me away with the earliest memories of my life. Laying on shag carpet on a sunny day light coming through the window on the second floor house in the woods. Light and music, and laying on my back rolling around while my mother was ironing listening to records on an orange plastic Fisher Price record player. 45's of the Beach Boys. My mother musta been listening to Pet Sounds as well. The song, it turns out, is Pet Sounds, the title track off that album; I can't remember ever hearing it again in my teenage or adult life. Its a new memory. It's the power of music.
Floating on a beam of light in ethereal surf guitar triumphant horns jungly rhythms empowering bass and mysterious cadences. Early birth sighs that carry me to a pure wide open thought free absorbing pure innocence and being taken way beyond by the experience of music in the beginning of my life.
And the same can be said for the entire Pet Sounds album for me.

I used to make love.

Or did I?
Can you make love
Or just give it?
Can you take love
Or just ignore it?
Can you lose love
Or just lose a part of yourself?

                                                       




                                                        "G  o  d   made the program


               
S wall o w e d  it  w h o l e
                                                       
                                                           

                                                          J  e  s  u  s   made it easy




                      I  c e   made   it   cold."









 - 'Polish' by Fugazi

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.
I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

"Tomorrow Is A Long Time" written by Bob Dylan

"Boldly, I gave my whole heart to you. No one else did I pour all my trust and my self. It didn't come easy to find another heart so much like mine, that accepted so much, to invest their time. And with all my trust I fell in love with you so easily, for the person you showed was so pure in soul. So much like  my soul, yet so much your own, I could stand back and look at you in admiration and with the truest love I've ever known. No one before you had made me content, to live one day at a time without regret. Although we knew, all things must pass, I tried to defy that and keep you forever. I would do anything for you, that you surely knew. But maybe I tried to hard...who took for granted of who? Boldly, passionately, and sometimes ruggedly, I truly loved all the unique parts of you. Every smooth curve and every hard edge. Every soft word and every harsh thing you said. In true love, I accepted your many parts. All of them, I could lovingly endure, except the part that admitted, you didn't love my heart."

"When the sun has set, no candle can replace it." - George R.R. Martin

Stuck Inside a Cloud

10.10.07

Drinking whiskey on a Sunday
after someone died
wearing black and
sitting on naugahyde
time keeps nothing
rhymes keep repeating.
Death makes me sensitive.

Carl Jung Typology Test.

I am an INFJ Type Personality.

---

Introverted iNtuiting Feeling Judging

by Marina Margaret Heiss

INFJs are distinguished by both their complexity of character and the unusual range and depth of their talents. Strongly humanitarian in outlook, INFJs tend to be idealists, and because of their J preference for closure and completion, they are generally "doers" as well as dreamers. This rare combination of vision and practicality often results in INFJs taking a disproportionate amount of responsibility in the various causes to which so many of them seem to be drawn.

INFJs are deeply concerned about their relations with individuals as well as the state of humanity at large. They are, in fact, sometimes mistaken for extroverts because they appear so outgoing and are so genuinely interested in people -- a product of the Feeling function they most readily show to the world. On the contrary, INFJs are true introverts, who can only be emotionally intimate and fulfilled with a chosen few from among their long-term friends, family, or obvious "soul mates." While instinctively courting the personal and organizational demands continually made upon them by others, at intervals INFJs will suddenly withdraw into themselves, sometimes shutting out even their intimates. This apparent paradox is a necessary escape valve for them, providing both time to rebuild their depleted resources and a filter to prevent the emotional overload to which they are so susceptible as inherent "givers." As a pattern of behavior, it is perhaps the most confusing aspect of the enigmatic INFJ character to outsiders, and hence the most often misunderstood -- particularly by those who have little experience with this rare type.

Due in part to the unique perspective produced by this alternation between detachment and involvement in the lives of the people around them, INFJs may well have the clearest insights of all the types into the motivations of others, for good and for evil. The most important contributing factor to this uncanny gift, however, are the empathic abilities often found in Fs, which seem to be especially heightened in the INFJ type (possibly by the dominance of the introverted N function).

This empathy can serve as a classic example of the two-edged nature of certain INFJ talents, as it can be strong enough to cause discomfort or pain in negative or stressful situations. More explicit inner conflicts are also not uncommon in INFJs; it is possible to speculate that the causes for some of these may lie in the specific combinations of preferences which define this complex type. For instance, there can sometimes be a "tug-of-war" between NF vision and idealism and the J practicality that urges compromise for the sake of achieving the highest priority goals. And the I and J combination, while perhaps enhancing self-awareness, may make it difficult for INFJs to articulate their deepest and most convoluted feelings.

Usually self-expression comes more easily to INFJs on paper, as they tend to have strong writing skills. Since in addition they often possess a strong personal charisma, INFJs are generally well-suited to the "inspirational" professions such as teaching (especially in higher education) and religious leadership. Psychology and counseling are other obvious choices, but overall, INFJs can be exceptionally difficult to pigeonhole by their career paths. Perhaps the best example of this occurs in the technical fields. Many INFJs perceive themselves at a disadvantage when dealing with the mystique and formality of "hard logic", and in academic terms this may cause a tendency to gravitate towards the liberal arts rather than the sciences. However, the significant minority of INFJs who do pursue studies and careers in the latter areas tend to be as successful as their T counterparts, as it is *iNtuition* -- the dominant function for the INFJ type -- which governs the ability to understand abstract theory and implement it creatively.

In their own way, INFJs are just as much "systems builders" as are INTJs; the difference lies in that most INFJ "systems" are founded on human beings and human values, rather than information and technology. Their systems may for these reasons be conceptually "blurrier" than analogous NT ones, harder to measure in strict numerical terms, and easier to take for granted -- yet it is these same underlying reasons which make the resulting contributions to society so vital and profound.

Copyright © 1996-2011 by Marina Margaret Heiss and Joe Butt

Famous INFJs:

Nathan, prophet of Israel
Aristophanes
Chaucer
Goethe
Robert Burns, Scottish poet

U.S. Presidents:

Martin Van Buren

James Earl "Jimmy" Carter

Nathaniel Hawthorne
Fanny Crosby, (blind) hymnist
Mother Teresa of Calcutta
Fred McMurray (My Three Sons)
Shirley Temple Black, child actor, ambassador
Martin Luther King, Jr., civil rights leader, martyr
James Reston, newspaper reporter
Shirley MacLaine (Sweet Charity, ...)
Piers Anthony, author ("Xanth" series)
Michael Landon (Little House on the Prairie)
Tom Selleck
John Katz, critic, author
Paul Stookey (Peter, Paul and Mary)
U. S. Senator Carol Moseley-Braun (D-IL)
Billy Crystal
Garry Trudeau (Doonesbury)
Nelson Mandela
Mel Gibson
Carrie Fisher
Nicole Kidman
Jerry Seinfeld
Jamie Foxx
Sela Ward
Mark Harmon
Gary Dourdan
Marg Helgaberger
Evangeline Lilly
Tori May


                                     Portrait of an INFJ - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Judging


(Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Feeling)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Protector


As an INFJ, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you take things in primarily via intuition. Your secondary mode is external, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit with your personal value system.


INFJs are gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals. Artistic and creative, they live in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities. Only one percent of the population has an INFJ Personality Type, making it the most rare of all the types.


INFJs place great importance on havings things orderly and systematic in their outer world. They put a lot of energy into identifying the best system for getting things done, and constantly define and re-define the priorities in their lives. On the other hand, INFJs operate within themselves on an intuitive basis which is entirely spontaneous. They know things intuitively, without being able to pinpoint why, and without detailed knowledge of the subject at hand. They are usually right, and they usually know it. Consequently, INFJs put a tremendous amount of faith into their instincts and intuitions. This is something of a conflict between the inner and outer worlds, and may result in the INFJ not being as organized as other Judging types tend to be. Or we may see some signs of disarray in an otherwise orderly tendency, such as a consistently messy desk.

INFJs have uncanny insight into people and situations. They get "feelings" about things and intuitively understand them. As an extreme example, some INFJs report experiences of a psychic nature, such as getting strong feelings about there being a problem with a loved one, and discovering later that they were in a car accident. This is the sort of thing that other types may scorn and scoff at, and the INFJ themself does not really understand their intuition at a level which can be verbalized. Consequently, most INFJs are protective of their inner selves, sharing only what they choose to share when they choose to share it. They are deep, complex individuals, who are quite private and typically difficult to understand. INFJs hold back part of themselves, and can be secretive.


But the INFJ is as genuinely warm as they are complex. INFJs hold a special place in the heart of people who they are close to, who are able to see their special gifts and depth of caring. INFJs are concerned for people's feelings, and try to be gentle to avoid hurting anyone. They are very sensitive to conflict, and cannot tolerate it very well. Situations which are charged with conflict may drive the normally peaceful INFJ into a state of agitation or charged anger. They may tend to internalize conflict into their bodies, and experience health problems when under a lot of stress.


Because the INFJ has such strong intuitive capabilities, they trust their own instincts above all else. This may result in an INFJ stubborness and tendency to ignore other people's opinions. They believe that they're right. On the other hand, INFJ is a perfectionist who doubts that they are living up to their full potential. INFJs are rarely at complete peace with themselves - there's always something else they should be doing to improve themselves and the world around them. They believe in constant growth, and don't often take time to revel in their accomplishments. They have strong value systems, and need to live their lives in accordance with what they feel is right. In deference to the Feeling aspect of their personalities, INFJs are in some ways gentle and easy going. Conversely, they have very high expectations of themselves, and frequently of their families.


INFJ is a natural nurturer; patient, devoted and protective. They make loving parents and usually have strong bonds with their offspring. They have high expectations of their children, and push them to be the best that they can be. This can sometimes manifest itself in the INFJ being hard-nosed and stubborn. But generally, children of an INFJ get devoted and sincere parental guidance, combined with deep caring.


In the workplace, the INFJ usually shows up in areas where they can be creative and somewhat independent. They have a natural affinity for art, and many excel in the sciences, where they make use of their intuition. INFJs can also be found in service-oriented professions. They are not good at dealing with minutia or very detailed tasks. The INFJ will either avoid such things, or else go to the other extreme and become enveloped in the details to the extent that they can no longer see the big picture. An INFJ who has gone the route of becoming meticulous about details may be highly critical of other individuals who are not.


The INFJ individual is gifted in ways that other types are not. Life is not necessarily easy for the INFJ, but they are capable of great depth of feeling and personal achievement.



                                                                   INFJ Relationships

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
INFJs are warm and affirming people who are usually also deep and complex. They're likely to seek out and promote relationships that are intense and meaningful. They tend to be perfectionists, and are always striving for the Ultimate Relationship. For the most part, this is a positive feature, but sometimes works against the INFJ if they fall into the habit of moving from relationship to relationship, always in search of a more perfect partner. In general, the INFJ is a deeply warm and caring person who is highly invested in the health of their close relationships, and puts forth a lot of effort to make them positive. They are valued by those close to them for these special qualities. They seek long-term, lifelong relationships, although they don't always find them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                                                       INFJ Strengths
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Warm and affirming by nature
Dedicated to achieving the ultimate relationship
Sensitive and concerned for others' feelings
Usually have good communication skills, especially written
Take their commitments very seriously, and seek lifelong relationships
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Good listeners
Are able to move on after a relationship has ended (once they're sure it's over)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


                                                                      INFJ Weaknesses
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tendency to hold back part of themselves
Not good with money or practical day-to-day life necessities
Extreme dislike of conflict and criticism
Have very high expectations for themselves and others (both a strength and weakness)
Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------


                                                                        INFJs as Lovers
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May


INFJs are warm, considerate partners who feel great depth of love for their partners. They enjoy showing this love, and want to receive affirmation back from their mates.


They are perfectionists, constantly striving to achieve the Perfect Relationship. This can sometimes be frustrating to their mates, who may feel put upon by the INFJs demanding perfectionism. However, it may also be greatly appreciated, because it indicates a sincere commitment to the relationship, and a depth of caring which is not usually present in other types.


Sexually, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience. They embrace the opportunity to bond heart and soul with their mates. As service-oriented individuals, it's very important to them that their mates are happy. Intimacy is an opportunity for the INFJ to selflessly give their love, and experience it in a tangible way.


Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFJ's natural partner is the ENTP, or the ENFP. INFJ's dominant function of Introverted Intuition is best matched with a personality type that is dominated by Extraverted Intuition. How did we arrive at this?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


                                                                     INFJs as Parents
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

INFJs usually make warm and caring parents. Their goal is to help their children become adults who know the difference between right and wrong, and who are independent, growth-oriented individuals.


Along the path to that goal they are generally very warm and caring, and are likely to treat their children as individuals who have a voice in family decisions. They want their children to be able to think for themselves, and make the right decisions. They also can be quite demanding on their children, and may have very high expectations for their behavior. Although they are generally soft-spoken and gentle, they may become stubborn and sharp-tongued at times when their expectations aren't met, or when under a lot of stress.


INFJs take their parenting role with ultimate seriousness. They will make sacrifices for the sake of their children without a second thought, and without remorse. Passing on their values to their children is a serious priority in their lives. Children of INFJs remember their parents fondly as warm, patient, and inspirational.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


                                                                INFJs as Friends
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Although the INFJ is likely to put friends behind their God and their families in terms of importance, they do value their friendships. As idealists who have strong value systems, INFJs seek authenticity and depth in their close relationships, and especially value people who can see and appreciate the INFJ for who they are and what they stand for.


The INFJ is likely to spend a lot of time socialing with family members. If they are religious, they probably are social with members of their religious community. After that, the INFJ may have friends represented from any of the personality types. They are usually extremely intuitive individuals, who will have no patience for anyone they feel is dishonest or corrupt. They'll have no interest in being around these kinds of people.


All kinds of people are drawn towards the INFJ. They are usually quite popular, although they may be unaware of it themselves, because they don't place a lot of importance on it.


The INFJ is valued by their close friends for their warmth and consideration, their new and interesting ways of looking at things, and for their ability to inspire and motivate others to be the best that they can be.


 

Past Essays: Capturing a Passion.

    At one time, the Queen of England owned a large portion of the southern central Canadian islands.  One particular secluded isle was sold to my uncle who was a real estate agent and avid fisherman from northern Minnesota.  He named it Laughing Loon Island, after the mysterious state bird of Minnesota.
    Laughing Loon Island was a place of quiet refuge.  I was first brought there following my grandmother's funeral in Nisswa, Minnesota.  It was almost my thirteenth birthday in the summer of 1992.  Before my parents drove back home to Arizona, they left me with my uncle, aunt, and cousin.  They assumed that a trip to the island would take my mind off the death of my grandmother.  I remember saying goodbye to my family with a mixture of hesitation and excitement because I knew they would be driving home still grieving for my grandmother, while i would be flying away on an adventure.
    I was excited about going over the border into another country.  I could not wait to be flying in a small, perhaps dangerous float plane, using an outhouse for a bathroom, and living without electricity.  I imagined an adventure of a woodman's dreams.  I pictured myself fishing in the morning and fishing in the evening; sharing the forest with the likes of grizzly bears and moose; eating the best hand caught meals cooked over a coal iron stove or an open flame.  Indeed, I didn't think twice about going to the island.
    Each day on the island was full of new experiences and things to see.  My uncle usually left me and my cousin free to explore the five acres of the island.  The air was so heavenly pure and unharmed, I could smell the cotton in my white t-shirt and the fish underwater.  My eyes ran from shear clean briskness in the clear morning.
    I remember stopping to sit on the ledge of a rock and looking towards the surrounding islands.  Everywhere in my vision there were dense green thickets meeting deep blue waters.  The nearest cabin was miles of wilderness away.  We were alone on the little island, and the uninhabited wilderness was open for me.
    Another day I hopped in the little aluminum boat with my fishing tackle and gear.  I felt so happy to have my own boat and to be able to glide across the water like a duck in total control. I came across flocks of loons and geese, different types of birds, a few otters and beavers swimming on their backs, and an occasional bald eagle.
    Soon, my curiosity led me to another discovery.  I portaged my boat through a forestation of wet peat moss, poison ivy, and clinging ticks into a smaller lake named Black.  I saw from one end to the other the dense forest and tall grass around the perimeter.  The water in Black lake, unclear and dark, almost made a gold wake behind the little, ten-horse motorboat.  I began to fish for walleye near the beaver dams, just as I had been taught by my uncle.
    Suddenly, as if Moses had appeared, a black bull moose emerged from the tree line!  This was a moose with such mammoth-size and proportion, that a six-foot man could stand under its belly!  I was a frozen jaw-hung human observer of nature and beauty, but the moose was not aware of my presence.  After a while of wallowing slowly through the tall grass, it disappeared into the brush.
    Floating on the way back to the island, I spotted a Canadian flag tied to a tree that was standing alone at the point tip of another island.
    "How long has that flag been on that tree? How often do other people come through these parts?" I thought to myself. "What's happened to the Queen of England? Where are the presidents and prime ministers? Where is my grandmother who passed away only eight days ago, as I sit alone in a tin boat in the middle of nowhere and nothing?" I pondered. "Man could not exist at all, and I could still be sitting here in this boat not knowing."
    At night in the cabin, underneath the cold blankets of my bed that were pulled tight over my head, I could hear the loon's call somewhere out in the black night.  The hauntingly eerie, high-pitched patterns of the loon, danced over the lake.  Their sounds conjured about thoughts that swirled in my mind.  I thought about the bears that might be outside my door ready to eat me.  I wondered what we would do if the plane broke down and we were stranded on the island.  I thought about my family far away in the desert.  I wondered how long I could stand to be apart from them.  I dreamed of someday owning my own island too.  I thought about becoming a bush pilot to help preserve the forests.  I thought about being a fat, old, bearded man in a cabin in the woods somewhere in desolate Canada like this.  I battled all sorts of fears and aspirations by dreaming of more to conquer.  I kept a candle lit through the night for comfort, but I knew I was beginning to enjoy being in the middle of nowhere without guidance.  It was becoming natural to me.
    As we flew away from Laughing Loon Island in my uncle's plane, I looked out the window to watch it fading away.  My time on the island had gone too fast.  I had a feeling that I would not be coming back for a long time.  I knew I would be going back to the desert soon, surrounded by my family and friends again.  I knew I would be back in the speed of everyday life and its duties.  I realized this experience had been full of wisdom and growth, and that I could never take that for granted; I never have.  In many ways, my trip to the island built the foundation of my passion for living life to the fullest.

Out the Blue

Out the Blue
You came to me
Blew away
Life's misery
Out the Blue
Life's energy
Out the Blue
You came to me.

Be Still.

Be Still

Landing on the Cheese

What a pathetic move
in a race to fly to space
we lit up room
and called it the moon.

new questions

What does the Moon do with the Light?
Do the Stars fall on the Moon?
Is there a flickering sound on a Star?
Does the Sun shower into pieces?

the tree and the rock

The rock sat beneath the tree
the tree hung over the rock
the rock asked the tree one day,
"can I stay here forever?"
The tree said, "you already have"
so the rock rolled away,
and the tree lost its leaves.

LIGHT.

The inexistance of light is called dark.
Light exists eternally.

Prison.

Life is a prison
When you have felt freedom
For freedom you will long for thereafter
Is it a feeling you seek without thinking
In the prison filled with laughter?


Georges I. Gurdjieff,
 A Westerner who went on this higher trip or at least on a large part of the trip, said:
               YOU DON'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND
      YOU ARE IN A PRISON
              IF YOU ARE TO GET OUT OF THE PRISON
              THE FIRST THING YOU MUST REALIZE IS:
     YOU ARE IN A PRISON 
        IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FREE YOU CAN'T ESCAPE           

For the Good of Mankind.

When life slows down and charity speeds up.

Finally! Something Good in the News! Veterans Discover Allure of Jobs in Western Wilderness

Veterans Discover Allure of Jobs in Western Wilderness - NYTimes.com

Inspiration.

Inspiration is to remember all the tracks that we've layed which roll on behind us in an august dust rain, and the clean wind of clarity that blows right through our life to show us the connection bridge to a sunny eternity, when we thank for each day.





"Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of today."
                                  -A good line from a poem by Robert Hastings entitled 'The Station', sent to me from my sister.


"Humiliation is good. It means you believe in something."
                                  -A great line from a song by Billy Callahan entitled, "Fool's Lament"

Sin la Politica!

Something ethereal and unclassifiable must emerge in order to change the hearts of all humans who believe that the economic system of private ownership is working for the good of the hearts of mankind. Then ! will we experience true peace and the potential of nature helping man survive.

This Present Child.

Like a child I stare at the new world.
My snake skin past shed.
The wool accepted on my eyes.
As a flock of endless forgiveness and love.
For who can agree to be humble
that who builds pillars of grumble.
A weight removed and a patient wait rooted.
I float in the endless atoms of time.
A traveler in this present of mine.

Sober.

sun sober right
blind did by the light
hero fruit wheel bell
wave hello goodnight

Rumi

"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
— Rumi

DAY 4 & 5

DAY 4
This is one of my favorite video clips because it's daylight. About 6am in the morning the deer came back for breakfast just after the sun came up.

DAY 5
Night 5 was a busy one! Lots of footage. This time I left "food" out for the animals. Corn husks, pop corn, salad.  But it's interesting how apprehensive the deer are when something is different at their salt lick. Watch. ..Sorry for the hazy images, it was a dewy night.

The Night Vision Camera

Rain is pouring from white sky here today in northern Minnesota. I watch it from a window. Fog seems to be steaming out of the trees and hanging in the air. Today is a day when you could either stay in and "putz", as they say here, or throw a poncho on and continue work outside. For now, I'm enjoying the window.

Wildlife in northern Minnesota is ABUNDANT! In this Coniferous Forest you can see all sorts of animals everywhere you go. Dead, or alive and well. The assortment of species is a long list, but for my experiment I am focusing mainly on deer, muskrat, squirrel, grouse, porcupine, raccoon, bear and cat.

For the past week I have been setting up an outdoor night vision camera. Designed mostly for hunters, it is camouflage and waterproof in a hard plastic shell with long strap in the back for attachment to trees and such. The actual model is a Moultrie Game Camera.

The land I'm on is rich with greens, berries and vegetation. In the middle of the plot is a large gardening area. Outside of the garden a Salt Lick was placed in the grass. Each night I've mounted the camera in different places, but the most animal movement was caught when it was mounted facing the salt lick. So far I haven't left any other "food" out for the animals. My goal is catch footage of a bear on the property, and thus far have only captured deer...cool, nonetheless!

DAY 1

The first time I used the camera, a raccoon was getting into the garden shop and eating the cat food and bird seed and making a big mess. So that's where the idea of using a night vision camera came from. Although, I never caught footage of the raccoon! Only Gracie here, about to hop up on her bench.

Wait a minute!!! I DID spot the raccoon!!!

                       HA! I joke. This is Mrs. M. in an example of what night vision shots look like.


DAY 2                     
                                   And here is Minnesota's Whitetail Deer enjoying the salt lick.
                          


DAY 3

                                              Can you guess what this animal could be??

 

      This is what seems to be the family Woodchuck, Charlie. He doesn't come around much anymore since the cats have stood guard. He can be a pesky bastard who likes to eat the wood foundation of the garden shop and make the crawl space his toilette. However, even though they are normally not noctural, this could be a black squirrel.


     Below is the video I captured...

                                         There ARE fireflies in Minnesota!! These are not them.

                                                       An example of night vision video.

                                                                 "Deer in the headlights."

                                             SASQUATCH????!!!

                                                               :) ...more to come.

                                                           

I Will Understand

minnesota.

Land of 10,000 lakes and 4 fish.

Food.

Fasting is necessary to reboot your body. Fruits and Vegetables are the foods for humans to eat. Everything else is to be eaten with meticulous moderation and caution.

"You can pick all the flowers, but you cannot stop the Spring." -Pablo Neruda

I must try to remember this... because I don't want to pick all the flowers, I only wish to be glad they grow for us to see.

"...like the deserts miss the rain."

"Dislodging a green nut from a shell is almost impossible, but let it dry and the lightest tap will do it." -               Ramakrishna

Like seeds sown on cement, nothing grows when the sower throws his seeds in thorns.

Simple words from a simpleton.

What is the use in ridiculous word fragments
the way I feel?
doesn't make a difference
I can't carry on
pretending I feel fine
I'm a man with a shattered heart
No day is as good as the days were
I work and sweat through each day waiting...
Today I am not a poet
or someone who doesn't know that
I'm a simple man
without.

Deliverance from the Wicked

The wicked hath no path;
in the sight of angels,
they crackle like dry wood in fire.

Their path is laid only by tongue;
spitting snares like a web.
The wickedness charms
and waits to strike;
you can feel it in the air.

Although snare and bite and charm,
and trick and bait disarm;
my cloak is hidden,
and what you cannot see cannot be moved;
cannot be penetrated or changed.

Know the wicked hath no path
in the way of the truth,
it also hath no lie,
that can't be seen or heard;
to the angel, all is seeable.

The trick of the wicked,
is to trap the angels;
to maul their wings,
to blot out their vision of light,
to make them lose consciousness of the feeling of wind.

It is with an uncertain spirit,
could then an angel be disturbed;
like a wounded man,
the angel can be dragged down,
to almost human levels.
But by the pit of a heart,
does flow the light of angels;
and the love of that heart,
is the endurance against the wicked,
and the consciousness of a soul,
in love with something pure.

   

Postcard Series

I Collect Postcards. Old and New. Used, Blank and Written On Too.

 

                                                                                                  

                                                   

Svoju Boju.

The leaves on the branch have never lost their color
I thought it was a symbol
I cut the branch
for us to know
and the leaves have not let their red color go.

..And the wisest whale
gathers its share
heavy with answers
drops to the deep ocean floor.

A Father to His Children.

Every chance that appears to you
is a test of what you'll do
and if sometimes your dreams come true
chances will be the proof.

Every chance that appears to you
is a test of what you'll do
and if all your dreams just fade
chances too will do the same

Every chance that appears to you
is a test of what you'll do
and if all your dreams sink like a plunging stone
chances are you're not alone

Every chance that appears to you
is a test of what you'll do
and if all your dreams collide
remember the test at every sunrise

Music tickles my soul
I wrote a song for you
Didn't you hear
It said, where you go
I"ll be there.

Sometimes, the worst thing about war is not dying, but trying to survive the wreckage of change, for the rest of your life.

Old Pecan Tree

the old house is making strange noises. the old tree in the pecan field is dead. she's long been stripped bare of all her limbs. her lean arches from high above the houses. though her stretch has withered frail. there hasn't been enough rain. only but the old telephone wire tied to the edge of the old house is holding her from falling. breaking and crashing in half. the old wind forces her to rely on the old telephone wire completely. if she goes there may be a great fire. just above the old telephone wire is the new power line currently buzzing. teeming electricities. if she goes she'll snap that new power line like an old rubber band. but the old pecan tree in the pecan field balances on a tight wire. it groans in strain and weakness unable to be nothing more than helpless. no one wants to see her go, nor endure the inevitable anymore. the old pecan could not help her crooked stand or her resilient rings. the old tree had been there and seen many things. her hips once bore fruit. her limbs once had branches that leaves grew from. green leaves that loved the wind and rain and sun.

the Mustard Bus . 1975 - 2009

What a pretty gal!

My Grandmother, Violet Kurilla circa 1930

I FOUND THIS RECENTLY. SOMETHING I WROTE ON THE BACK OF A BUSINESS CARD YEARS FROM NOW...

All that Love.

All that I opened
all that I began
all that I discovered
all that I am
you are
if you see
your heart
like a tree
All that I muscled
all that I bruised
all that I bore forth
all that,
you conceal
nothing but
the purest bow
at your service
not too proud
all that strength
all that endurance
all that weight
all that wait
all that time
all that proof
all that solitude
attitude, graditude and spruce
all that unending
all that faith
all that carefulness
all that fate
all that I
all that me
all that you
all that need
all that youth
all that age
all that trying
all that proof
all that work
all that press
all that ink
all that stress
all that distraction
all that forget
all that distance
all that regret
all that redemption
all that hope
all that acceptance
all that cope
all that forgiveness
all that soap
all that explanation
all that truth
all that perfection
all that use
all that compassion
all that void of
all that labor
all that love.

Oliver's Dreams

My dreams are like balloons
my dreams are like cacoons
my dreams are like rain
like sun, like day, like night, like moon
my dreams are passing
through a room
over houses
up the stairs
like woven baskets
thrown in the air
my dreams are the weather of the mind
is it time ticking time
or knots of emotion
or nothing at all
just floating
on clouds of water
my dreams are.