International Women's Day 2013

To all the woman in our lives.

2 Agreements

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”
― Kalu Ndukwe Kalu

tags: hope, inspiration, inspirational, life, truth

Talk about it

"Sometimes this human stuff is slimy and pathetic...
but better to feel it and talk about it and walk through it
than to spend a lifetime being silently poisoned."

-- Anne Lamott

Living the Dream Worn Out

5am alone
Train whistle blowing
Cold dead poverty
Frozen feet bitterness
Looking for my wisdom tooth
Frigid creaking bones
Insomnia alone
Queen Anne's hill
The stillness of truth

Total Eclipse

                                               
                                                       My experimental photography.

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.”

Leo F. Buscaglia quotes (American guru, tireless advocate of the power of love, 1924-1998)

"In Search of the Miraculous"

To see the roles, to know one’s repertoire, particularly to know its limitedness, is to know a great deal. But the point is that, outside his repertoire, a man feels very uncomfortable should something push him if only temporarily out of his rut, and he tries his hardest to return to any one of his usual roles. Directly he falls back into the rut everything at once goes smoothly again and the feeling of awkwardness and tension disappears. This is how it is in life; but in the work, in order to observe oneself, one must become reconciled to this awkwardness and tension and to the feeling of discomfort and helplessness. Only by experiencing this discomfort can a man really observe himself. And it is clear why this is so. When a man is not playing any of his usual roles, when he cannot find a suitable role in his repertoire, he feels that he is undressed. He is cold and ashamed and wants to run away from everybody. But the question arises: What does he want? A quiet life or to work on himself? If he wants a quiet life, he must certainly first of all never move out of his repertoire. In his usual roles he feels comfortable and at peace. But if he wants to work on himself, he must destroy his peace. To have them both together is in no way possible. A man must make a choice. But when choosing the result is very often deceit, that is to say, a man tries to deceive himself. In words he chooses work but in reality he does not want to lose his peace. The result is that he sits between two stools. This is the most uncomfortable position of all. He does no work at all and he gets no comfort whatever. But it is very difficult for a man to decide to throw everything to the devil and begin real work. And why is it difficult? Principally because his life is too easy and even if he considers it bad he is already accustomed to it. It is better for it to be bad, yet known. But here there is something new and unknown. He does not even know whether any result can be got from it or not. And besides, the most difficult thing here is that it is necessary to obey someone, to submit to someone. If a man could invent difficulties and sacrifices for himself, he would sometimes go very far. But the point here is that this is not possible. It is necessary to obey another or to follow the direction of general work, the control of which can belong only to one person. Such submission is the most difficult thing that there can be for a man who thinks that he is capable of deciding anything or of doing anything. Of course, when he gets rid of these fantasies and sees what he really is, the difficulty disappears. This, however, can only take place in the course of work. But to begin to work and particularly to continue to work is very difficult and it is difficult because life runs too smoothly.”  

- G.I.Gurdjieff
 P.D. Ouspensky, Chapter 12, "In Search of the Miraculous"

Bad Poems.

When the words don't present themselves in any other form but the mundane everyday passing language we use to clear our throats.

I'm Thankful.

I'm thankful for the roof,
I'm thankful for the walls,
I'm thankful for the bed,
and I'm thankful for the stall.

I'm thankful for the warmth,
I'm thankful for the clothes,
I'm thankful for the food,
And I'm thankful for the hose.

I'm thankful for the people,
The family, the friends, and the wanderers
I'm thankful for the words,
The kindness, the help, and the responders

I'm thankful for my eyes,
My ears, my mouth, and my nose
I'm thankful for my feet,
My legs, my knees and elbows
I'm thankful for my arms,
My hands, my fingers, and thumbs,
I'm thankful for my smile,
My lips, my teeth, and my gums.

I'm thankful for my skin,
My hair, my nails, and face,
I'm thankful for my senses,
My brain, my mind, and my love
I'm thankful for my soul,
My inspiration, my light, my heart
I'm thankful that I am God's
Working sculpture of fine art.

May God Bless and Keep You Always...

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

Looking at the Mirror. Quotes of Truth

It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.  ~Sally Kempton,Esquire, 1970

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.  ~Attributed to Hanoch McCarty

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.  ~Henry Ford

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know.  Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.  ~Buckminster Fuller

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.  ~Peter T. Mcintyre

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

Your value is the product of your thoughts.  Do not miscalculate your self worth by multiplying your insecurities.  ~Dodinsky

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.  ~Max L. Forman

I was thinking of my patients, and how the worst moment for them was when they discovered they were masters of their own fate.  It was not a matter of bad or good luck.  When they could no longer blame fate, they were in despair.  ~Anaïs Nin

Your problem is you're... too busy holding onto your unworthiness.  ~Ram Dass

Don't be distracted by criticism.  Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.  ~Zig Ziglar

Like a bridge.

I Do Care.

I don't care,
What any one says.
I love you more than
Reality and time. 

a peace of cake.

                                Sometimes, just a piece of cake, can make you smile.

“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath

"I Trust Your Judgement."

If it wasn't for the love of chosen people in our lives whom we trust enough to let hold the mirror upon our self to see what they see when things get out of our self control, then we'd all be out of control. And we wouldn't learn how to love, or live.

Amour

I just went to see a film called Amour. When I walked out of the theatre into the dense fog, I have never felt more deceased. This movie is about strong love.

If You Win You Lose.

Fixing a Hole.

Fixing a hole when the rain gets in
Stops my mind from wondering
Where it will go

The Olive on a Tree

It's Sunday, four days of unfading fog has broken by the rays of the warm sun!
And there are words on the lips of my heart.
Thank you,  are these words.
Even though the forest misses the trees
Like the flower loves to bloom, thank you.
For giving me a chance to love you
And for loving me with so much heart.
For making me feel like the tallest tree in the desert
For helping me in a way that is uniquely your own.
Thank you for spending so much time and effort
I see the gentleness of lovers and then my new world
And nothing is like theirs, but I thank you for yours
And hope you can feel the sun that shines through me toward you
When I think of you, in my heart and in my mind
Today it is of gratitude that I can reflect in to
Thank you for loving me and wanting the best for me
The forest is thankful for the rain that grows the tree.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.

- Rumi


Birdsong brings relief
to my longing
I'm just as ecstatic as they are,
but with nothing to say!
Please universal soul, practice
some song or something through me!

- Rumi

Crowded House

Every day I wake up with another song on my heart.

Interesting findings at the beach

 On a beautiful December 21st, I walked down to the beach to see what the day would bring.

 Multiple trees washed up with the same letters carved into them. They all appear to be main-masts from a very old ship wrecked long ago.

No nails or screws. Someone constructed this arrow pointing in a fixed direction. So I followed.

What a beautiful day it was.

And in the emerald forest you'll find glowing majestic living things like this!

Truly He is Born!

Apple Tree Concentrate.

If I ever saw a suit axe beefing in the ring with wild cats on the punch, Mohammed Ali Baba wouldn't stand a chance against these ruffian tigers nashing!  Gggggrrrrowl! Wow! Get back! I get it! Go tell it on the mountain! So many cats in one basket there's bound to be a squeel! Put down your dukes! And your straw filled boots you scarecrows and get yourself off the stairs! There's plenty water in the ocean... You just can't drink it!

The light is shining warmly.

Contradiction Pigeon.

Did you ever stop to think about the people we kill?
They're always the people who tell us to live together
in harmony and try to love one another;

Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy,
Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X,
Martin Luther King, John Lennon.

They all said: "Try to live together peacefully."
BAM! Right in the fuckin' head.
Apparently we're not ready for that!

- George Carlin

I'm having some breakfast and coffee on First Hill at the Corner Cafe today, and I remember how I've always felt sad seeing people in a restuarant eating alone.

Some people might persecute you for your personality.
In todays winds of change, through the eyes of much of the American youth, so many people are dismissed as "awkward". Every time I hear a person say, "whew, THAT was awkward!" after talking to someone they didn't know and was "different" to them, I wonder... Why was that awkward, asking that stranger where the bathroom is? The guy seemed introverted, and a bit shy, but answered helpfully. So what! He's not the hip, bubbly, overly outgoing, entertaining person you expect people to be? So what! He's him. You're you. He/She might be totally comfortable in their skin. And you might not be. Or vise versa.
The same goes for so many "different" personality types.
Sometimes I do something similar when it comes to judging myself..
You may know what people are expecting in common social situations, and know when they are let down from their own expectations. I have spent almost a lifetime researching the patterns and changes in social cultures.
In 2013, social influence supersedes most impressionable young people over anything else. What they say and do is micro-capsulated by what they see through the bubble they live in.
Which is why everything out of their perfect norm seems odd or awkward to them. They live in a bubble. A bubble of style. A bubble of television or radio. A bubble of music. A bubble of spirituality. A bubble of religion. A bubble of family. A bubble of solitude.  A bubble of work. A bubble of politics. A bubble of particulars.
In most cases of being stuck in your bubble, your conclusion of the outsider will always end up the same: they're not like you. They don't quite fit. They don't fit your expectations. They're not like everyone else you know.
The worst persecution someone can face may even come from within their own family.
Now THAT is awkward. Awkward because no one should feel this way in the presence of family.
If your own family has a hard time with your presence, social cultures may be interfering with perception and expectation. Within a family, this is never comfortable to respond to.
Whats missing here is the lack of the understanding of love.
You may love yourself enough, and you may love your family too, but if you don't see and feel welcoming love from your own family members because you are different in some ways, you may feel the opposite of that.

LIVING LIFE WITH A GOOD HEART The Antidote to Selfishness By Lama Thubten Yeshe

There is no way to get everlasting satisfaction unless you change your attitude from one of holding yourself to one where you open your heart and dedicate yourself to others. If you can do this, you are guaranteed of satisfaction and will never be lazy. The selfish mind is incredible, worse than a knife in your heart. Selfishness kills you, destroys your life. All the political troubles in the world today come from the selfish attitude. It doesn't matter what the object of your selfishness is - your own reputation, your own nation, the planet's resources, money the selfish attitude is the main troublemaker. We kill each other because of the self-cherishing thought, holding ourselves dear and not worrying about the welfare of others. All bad relationships - between husband and wife, guru and disciple - come from the selfish attitude. When you think about it, you can see that every problem on earth comes from being concerned for oneself instead of others. Selfishness is painful, really painful. If you want to be free of the pain in your heart, open it by developing universal concern for others, bringing all sentient beings into your heart as much as you possibly can. That is the antidote to the selfish attitude that is the pain in your heart. I truly believe that this is the way to liberation.

Oh dears.

Usually, little children say the most completely obvious yet randomly valuable and crushingly adorable things that fill me with joy in the most needed moments.

A Happy New Year.

 "Happy new year, Year!"
"Happy new year, Luke.
The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the seagulls are flying, it'll be a good year for you."

Unconscious/Conscience Love Contrasted

An unconscious love starts in the heart and tickles the mind, but does not reconnect with the soul.
An unconscious love waits in the heart while it tempts the mind, but does not employ the soul.
An unconscious love possesses the heart like a prison, breaks down the mind like a malfunction, and becomes blind to the needs of the soul.
An unconscious love burns in the heart, whirlwinds the mind, and does not remember the soul exists.

A conscience love reconnects with the soul, fills the heart, and frees the mind.
A conscience love reconnects with the needs of the soul, fulfills the heart, and opens the mind.
A conscience love is the soul being fulfilled, becoming the heart, and filling the mind with love.
A conscience love is the soul purpose, opening your body and mind to fulfillment of itself in communion with others.

Mona Lisa, Nat King Cole

Fairytale of New York

Christmas is a time we're supposed to be  with the ones we love.

The Zen Porch.

Maybe meditating on the porch has brought about the amount of Sun we've had lately here in West Seattle. Or, maybe yesterday being the beginning of the Bronze Age of time when the Sun's orbit has aligned with the Sirius sun on opposite axis but are ascending now, not descending anymore, has brought this to us. The sun's orbit definitely affects/coincides with our human conscience. So maybe since there's been full sun since yesterday morning, Seattle's outlook will from now on be sunnier than ever known before!

"The Song of the Conscious Ant"

This world can offer me the desires of my ego

This world can offer me the figments of my youth

I can carry my life on my back up to the top of the earth

I can stand at the edge of the corner of the continent

I can move like the sea and work like the bee

As though mine is the only work that exists

Until I reach the pinnacle of faith in God

And stand at the ledge of the western corner of the world

And shout up to the sky, to the universe, to the Heavens, to God,

"Can you see me now?!

I am an ant on this earth

Like a pin prick in a vast of holes
Conceived for one form in unity

I have no desire to be seen

No desires for any things

But, for the world I left for this one

The world of life in my dreams."

Just Another Day to Begin.

What if.. December 21st is just another day?
What if you woke up today and everything seemed to be just like the day before? 
What if something passed through our sleeping, vulnerable mind?
What if a change occurred?
What if it was a change in our conscience as a humankind?
What if suddenly everyone became aware that something was different.
What if it was easy to love.
Not possessive love. 
Love through believing.
Maybe a mass consciousness of human beings will believe finally love IS the way, the truth, and the life. 
What if you woke up today and felt different. 
What if you only had the capacity to love your neighbor as yourself. 
What if you woke today and you just knew your heart was opened wider. 
What if today the more people you past by the more love you felt for each of them. 
What if today you talked to a friend and noticed them with a new light and they in you.
What if Christ's love woke you up with blinding white light.
What if it encompassed your whole vision?
Like you've suddenly went blind
And had no control of opening and closing your eyes
You couldn't see anything at all but brilliant light.
All you could do was believe in the light.
What if that all occurs within us, and we have the choice to live in that light or fight against it within ourselves. 

"Fear not, for I am with thee"  Isaiah 41:10

"Be still and know I am God" Psalm 46:10

"The only thing to fear, is fear itself." FDR
"All the commandments: You shall not commit adultery, you shall not kill, you shall not steal, you shall not covet, and so on, are summed up in this single command: You must love your neighbor as yourself." Jesus Christ
A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  John 13:34

Choose to live in love. Nothing else. 


Not in fear. Not in judgement. Not in selfishness. Not in denial.

Jericho.

In the end, you don't need to learn another hard lesson.
You need nothing but to walk in trust.

passion

I am not a madman

I'm a lover

I lose myself in love

and go mad

Fishing Brothers

If

If I were a train, I'd be late.

I failed, and the only thing good I can hope for is change.

Canadian Island

"Life is what you're missing while you aren't making plans."  

- Luke Daniel Mathers

"I AM the way, the truth, and the light."  - Jesus Christ

Matthew 18  1In that hour came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? 2And he called to him a little child, and set him in the midst of them, 3and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.4Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me: 6But whoso shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it is profitable for him that a great millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depth of the sea.

I am
from then on
the simpler of men
the wooliest of fools
the singleton of squares
the blissing mind of windmills
the pedal flight of flowers
the hardest cornerstone
the sign thats always shown

James Kurilla Giftwoods

the beach boys, pet sounds

Since birth, music has been close to my ears. Recently, I rediscovered a song that blew me away with the earliest memories of my life. Laying on shag carpet on a sunny day light coming through the window on the second floor house in the woods. Light and music, and laying on my back rolling around while my mother was ironing listening to records on an orange plastic Fisher Price record player. 45's of the Beach Boys. My mother musta been listening to Pet Sounds as well. The song, it turns out, is Pet Sounds, the title track off that album; I can't remember ever hearing it again in my teenage or adult life. Its a new memory. It's the power of music.
Floating on a beam of light in ethereal surf guitar triumphant horns jungly rhythms empowering bass and mysterious cadences. Early birth sighs that carry me to a pure wide open thought free absorbing pure innocence and being taken way beyond by the experience of music in the beginning of my life.
And the same can be said for the entire Pet Sounds album for me.

I used to make love.

Or did I?
Can you make love
Or just give it?
Can you take love
Or just ignore it?
Can you lose love
Or just lose a part of yourself?

                                                       




                                                        "G  o  d   made the program


               
S wall o w e d  it  w h o l e
                                                       
                                                           

                                                          J  e  s  u  s   made it easy




                      I  c e   made   it   cold."









 - 'Polish' by Fugazi

If today was not an endless highway,
If tonight was not a crooked trail,
If tomorrow wasn't such a long time,
Then lonesome would mean nothing to you at all.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.
I can't see my reflection in the waters,
I can't speak the sounds that show no pain,
I can't hear the echo of my footsteps,
Or can't remember the sound of my own name.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

There's beauty in the silver, singin' river,
There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky,
But none of these and nothing else can touch the beauty
That I remember in my true love's eyes.
Yes, and only if my own true love was waitin',
Yes, and if I could hear her heart a-softly poundin',
Only if she was lyin' by me,
Then I'd lie in my bed once again.

"Tomorrow Is A Long Time" written by Bob Dylan