Covenant Woman

Covenant woman got a contract with the Lord
Way up yonder, great will be her reward
Covenant woman, shining like a morning star
I know I can trust you to stay where you are

And I just got to tell you
I do intend
To stay closer than any friend
I just got to thank you
Once again
For making your prayers known
Unto heaven for me
And to you, always, so grateful
I will forever be

I’ve been broken, shattered like an empty cup
I’m just waiting on the Lord to rebuild and fill me up
And I know He will do it ’cause He’s faithful and He’s true
He must have loved me so much to send me someone as fine as you

And I just got to tell you
I do intend
To stay closer than any friend
I just got to thank you
Once again
For making your prayers known
Unto heaven for me
And to you, always, so grateful
I will forever be

Covenant woman, intimate little girl
Who knows those most secret things of me that are hidden from the world
You know we are strangers in a land we’re passing through
I’ll always be right by your side, I’ve got a covenant too

And I just got to tell you
I do intend
To stay closer than any friend
I just got to thank you
Once again
For making your prayers known
Unto heaven for me
And to you, always, so grateful
I will forever be

Copyright © 1980 by Special Rider Music

Wherever there is sea
May you feel free
Wherever there is sun
May you freely run
Wherever there is wine
May you enjoy the time
Wherever there is family
May you feel at home
Wherever there is travel
May you happily roam

You haunt my dreams
You keep coming back
Is it my illness's illusions
Or are you trying to stay in my heart
The fight continues as I sleep
I am pleading you keep leaving
We both keep weeping
Is it just my memory sleeping
Or are we speaking in dreams?

"You never give up, do you.."
"Only when I'm absolutely forced too. But I'm a good loser."
"Well, you've had a lot of practice."

God's Will Be With You

Enjoy the sea
and the wind that carries ye
for its not the wind that
sends me here
its not the interest
nor the weather
or the year

You made it very clear
like looking through glass
You made it very obvious
like tracing my portrait photograph

The thing that puzzles your heart
is the thing that doesn't omit the obvious
But there's a time and a place
and a place in time
for those who are only curious

If joy moves your arms and legs
If spirit pushes your train
If love keeps you open
May you dance in the rain

You made a bridge for me
and stayed on one side
You meant every step you took
while my faith was walking blind

Van Morrison - And the Healing Has Begun

The best things, the real things, the things that matter or affect us the most, cannot be said, or expressed in so many words. Maybe its just the real truth, that cannot be said. That cannot take that risk because its, that, true. Maybe it feels more real if it goes on untold or hidden. Maybe it isn't real at all, if something doesn't compel the heart to shout out about it.
You can't expect a dog to trust an owner that beats it, and still tries to get it to retrieve or come.
As you can't expect to pretend your footprints will be washed away in a desert.

Bait and Switch

Been trying to come up with that phrase that describes something like a tease. Something like a give and take away. Something like a game. Something like dangling a carrot over a rabbit. Something like a show. Something trying to get in and destroy. Something like a trick. Something wishy washy. Something tender on top but stone inside. Something that stirs the pot then overturns it. Something that pushes the right buttons to keep the game in play. Something that takes advantage of the truth but can't believe in it.

This thing I'm trying to describe, I don't know it. Yet I do. But I don't understand the point of it.

The point of the tease is to control. But why? 

The stone that the builder refused, will only become the head cornerstone.

A Bear Outside My Window
By Herberth Quinton

I was not asleep
Tucked tight in my bed
I had the blankets pulled up to my head 
I stared out the windows
To the forest outside
I waited watching
Would he show up or hide?
But just as moon fell asleep in the sky
I saw a great shadow pass my window by
Lurching and leaning and wobbling side to side
Fur and fuzz and hair and hyde
Winter has past and he's emerged from his den
Looking for the river to catch the salmon
He must have got lost and wandered up the hill
To my cottage on the mountain where I laid so still
I wonder if he knows I'm just behind the glass
And if he would remember this spot from the year last
How I helped him out of a trap, I wondered
If he would remember that
So I crawled out of my bed so quiet
And tip toed across the floor
I thought I'd try and surprise my silly old Uncle Joe
But it was to my surprise not at all my uncle though
But a great big scary look-alike hairy bear outside my window!

Too Late for Tears.  Lloyd Price and His Orchestra.
The Lonely One by Lee Hazelwood & Duane Eddy
Sittin in the Balchony by Eddy Cochran
 Have You Seen Her by the Chi-Lites
Midnight Cowboy by Ferrante & Teicher

Easy Street Records, albums on the table at my last breakfast.
Eating: a Born to Run breakfast sandwich and black coffee.
Finally saw that guy who played drums on my last record pass by.
He didn't recognize me. But then again, no one did this time 'round.

Rooftops shaped like cones covered in moss sticking up high in overshadowing sky. An iron bird spinning in the fierce wind. Salt air off the harbor, fresh, fishy, musty, clean and like old wood. Rain, rain, rain. Darkness and rain in May. The sun catches a few breaks. Then whooshhhhh the rivery sound of the forest taken by wind. Limbs bending twitching shaking twirling breaking. Leaves moving the same way but hanging on by strength of Spring. Charcoal, white and smears of blue palette the sky constantly passing and transforming. On the Mountain of the Sequoias, over the Valley of the Deadwoods. 

The description of weather, is like the wind through teeth, like the wind put into voice. To describe the sun shining is to be outside of time. 

When You're Naked

I'm naked,
Leaning over a typewriter
Holding a cup of coffee
Looking for these letters
Spilling
My gut's out
Fattened by wheat and hops
Flabbed immuscularly
Naked not nude
Nothing sexy
Nothing shrewd
Looking for these letters
To drape some words
To wear around me
So they can get a read on me
Some people can't understand you
When you're naked.

I Believe in You - Sinead O' Connor sings Bob Dylan

Lucinda Williams

Someone posed this question to me: "Aren't we just pretending nothing's wrong with the world?"

"Oh inverted world." -James Mercer. How long must we pretend nothing's wrong?  You've popularized too far. Youve used your radios. You've used your televisions, your Internet, your satellite, your dish, your cables, and then from the inside out like a snake coming out if its skin, your using everything. And now, youve even got more "friends" than your counterpart. You got the attention. You got the vote. You got the winning smile. You got that "Mr. Personality"charm! Youve even got good hearted people. You got some fanatics, salesmen, and you got government and laws. But you also got some religions too. Of course you do, salesmen you. Oh, extroverted world! "Vanity of vanities,  all is vanity." Ecc. 1.
When will we again accept and remember that we did not create ourselves? That we were created inside our mother by our mother and father. Just as they were created by their mother and father.And so on and so behind us into humankind.  And we cannot physically manifest as we please. God is God. We are we. We are made by He. If you wanna know the way to go, to be fulfilled, and know its it, it's in the Holy Spirit. That appeared on this day, as the apex of new days throughout time. The Pentecost. The Holy Spirit descended upon the earth, and breathed on His disciples as to give them the spirit in human senses which is the beginning of the Spirit of Christ. Jesus had died. His followers were keeping strong as best they could. Then he appeared to them telling them to touch his wounds. Thats when he breathed on them. They were filled with strength and joy, laughter and tears! It says that people who saw the apostles after Jesus appeared to them,thought they were drunk all the time. And Peter said, "how could we be drunk, it's only nine in the morning?"
Peter was being frank, he wasn't making a joke.  They were so fulfilled by the Holy Spirit with a hearty joy and strength. And a new vitality to spread the Gospel and to keep the faith. God is real. God is a living God, like the grape vine always ripe offering itself to us. Seeking our love with an unending sweet patience. God is living by the way of the Holy Spirit, which is, Jesus Christ. I wish that every person in this world, introvert or extrovert, would seek the Holy Spirit, and find the strength, excitement, and awaking of Christ upon them, and know.

Here or Where.

I'm going use some words said to me by some people making small talk. In a diverse melting pot you'll always hear a variety of opinions about the city you're in. Sitting outside a cafe last week two well suited older gentlemen were walking past as the sun was shining through the blue sky saying, "Seattle is the best place in the world (when the sun is shining.)" the other guy, looking new in town, looked up and around and said, "yeah, I bet."
There's a darkside that makes up what I can gather as about fifty percent of the population that won't ever give an opinion about the city. Yet, most of these folks don't enjoy going outside on average, nor do they enjoy the sun. They spend most of their time in the dark; inside the home, in clubs, bars, or in low or artificial light. My opinion is that it seems to be a direct rejection of the sun's light.
Some people in a transient town are just searching for something they may very well find, and others will not. One girl the other night told me, "I hate this place, I'm leaving." She has been here since last September. As I swiveled around my stool to listen, she said, "everyone gives you the cold shoulder. I'm going to New Orleans."
 "Know anyone there?" I asked. 
"nope," she shook her head and smirked.
"well its the sweet south, that's something different" I offered. I waved goodbye and wished her good luck.
"This place is so clicky." another person said to me once.
"Its hard to make friends the older you get." another northwest resident admitted.
"It's easy to succeed here." said one woman to me in a random chance meeting.
Perspective! It's all perspective and circumstance that make up opinions. 
The girl who had the positive perspective turned out to be the nicest, most genuine person I've met in Seattle.

Song: Precious Angel

This song is always on my heart. Brings me up. Fills me with joy, strength, and hope.

This morning as the suns coming up, my cup o coffee finds itself leaning over the edge of the Edmonds ferry. The sound is calm. Sea lions playfully popping up their heads from the deep for a breath of clean cool air. They're saying hello to me. Looking at me straight in the eyes so innocent almost as if they know what I need. I wave out to their familiar charm, "good morning Lenerd!"

Therefore what must be done today is a visual, animated collage of life through my eyes.
I will begin to begin.

A cup of vivace, a vegan blueberry scone, a man wheeling his walker down the middle of the street, a girl jumping the white lines of the cross walk on one leg while the other is bound up in a cast, a junkie buying dog food, construction foreman driving a $115K Mercedes to the jobsite, coffee drinkers soaking the sunlight being sure not to show too much affection for it, people from Alaska, Arizona, Army, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, 8am shopping girls, 2 man lovers hiding in the brush kissing in secret, Julia's on Broadway, a beautiful huge head of African hair bouncing down the block, jet planes blasting through the rain clouds, photographers shooting lamp posts, well-dressed buskers doing magic, hundreds of backpacks, a pile of free couches, one man already passed went home changed clothes and walked past the other direction, some leaves blowin in the wind, people blowing smoke, dogs on chains, preschoolers on leashes, multi-colored facial expressions, a Japanese musician playing that dreamy instrument I can't remember the name of, young singles courting during lunch dates, new David Byrne songs, melting snow, mountain caps of sunlight, woman on a cigarette break leaning one leg against a street lamp, a crumpet shop, the falafel king, tourists of all shapes, sizes, colors and smells, sunlight! on the east side of the street, maps of all kinds, the green tortoise, a van full of old crippled men being unloaded at the Showgirls club, skinny cyclists, flower venders, fruit venders, new summer hats, fresh newspapers, sellers, talkers so high it makes you nervous just thinking about their come down, the smells of salty ocean water, coffe grounds, pandoori spice, onions, garlic, marajuana, cumin, curry, gasoline and oil, fresh fish on ice, flowers in bloom, diesel engines, roasting nuts, clouds and sun. Yes, clouds have a scent, and the smell of the sun is like jasmin and white wine.
The green grass is growing tall in the Spring, cool and a little damp on your back and the sun is warm and hot on your skin, couple a Life O Reilly's taking the afternoon in the meadow grass laying on their bellies and backs, the sun is glowing on people, the mood is high, bright, hopeful, light, streets are busy all day, music is somewhere in everything, boats on stilts, houses balancing on tree limbs overlooking 300 ft deep gorges, water taxis, 400ft steal boats carrying 500 tons of cars floating over the ocean surface in the middle of the night.

 I was_this close to choosing negativity! But dang-git maraungit I've been through that!
And today was meant for joy! I choose life, today.

The Monkey and Monkeyman

A friendly ol' monkey jumped in my pants n' said,

"there ain't much room in here but I'll teach you how to dance!"

I wiggled and I hopped and I bounced and I flopped

"now you know!" said the monkey as he talked,

then he pointed with his finger to the sun n' said,

"run, man, run!"

Sometimes even the joy and the fun and the excitement of newness make me nostalgic. Some things are forgettable. Some people are unforgettable. Some things will always take my breath away, if only for an aching moment.  

Friends are friends forever.

This song came springing from some long forgotten time in my youth.
While today, it may seem a little cheesy, it still rings true. To me.

Confessional

Hello, my name is ____ and I have a mental disorder. I don't know what it's called clinically, but it could be compared to schizophrenia or bi-polar symptoms. No, I have not been diagnosed by a psychiatrist or a doctor. But by the loved ones who know me better than they do. And by my own self evaluation in truth. I'm not ashamed of it now, because I'm getting a handle on how to manage it, and do better, rather than worse most days. This "disorder", or "feeling" begins in my mind and circulates throughout my body, even causing physical pain and discomfort. It travels out of my mouth, then back into my head and through my muscles. These symptoms create a "fear" that is usually debilitating to the mind and body. The reason it must be a "disorder", is because one moment its as if everything is normal, even keeled, and steady.  And then without warning or recognition it rips out of me emotions and hurt and emptiness as if I've never healed from any wounds I've received. And I go burning inside against these feelings and the wonder why they exist is crushing in itself.
But the truth is, that I HAVE been healed of all my wounds throughout the course of my life. I AM healed, everyday. And that I am a completely and highly functioning human being. I have achieved great feats in my life and traveled a million miles around the world to learn that I have to watch my every step. Sitting at the table and sharing a meal with families and friends of many cultures. And learning about myself and humanity through these experiences. I have created literature, songs, poems, melodies, photographs, visual art, living structures, and yes, I have created love, happiness, joy, care for others, an ear for others problems, and compassion for the well being of others. I have created all that and more throughout my life, and have never ceased in doing so.
I am someone who's passion is for love on earth. But fights against the opposition to love and the rejection of love, within myself. The fighting within myself has been my weakness. It has been just as strong as me, and I am very physically strong, but the weakness is also very strong. And as I have said it can and has beat me sometimes in the battle.
There are many answers. There are many cures. But the question for me is, can I manage the practice of managing my own psyche everyday?
It's tough. It isn't easy. It's a struggle. I need the help of loved ones sometimes. I need the right order of business surrounding me. I too, need the ear of a friend, the compassion of a lover, the company of good friends. Like we all do sonetimes. I need to do something with my hands. I need to continue to train my brain. I need to love this traveling man. I need to keep my eyes on the prize. And keep my head from the shadows. And remember to remember. God in all things. And thankfulness and forgiveness to my loved ones and friends.
It ain't easy dadgumitt! But the true me is worth it. 

Some days are diamonds

some days are stone.

Oh, Mockingbird, Have You Ever Heard, Words That I Never Heard?

Go Mad! Go!

Go crazy! Go nuts! Go insane! Go bananas! Go Ape! Go!

Go get lost! Go take a hike! Go fly a kite! Go roll your bones! Go walk alone! Go work for pone! Go!

Go go-ith where you might! Go and don't go where you don't like! Go gone! Go!

Go get some! Go give some! Go lend some! Go share some! Go anywhere some! Go!

Go far! Go near! Go here! Go there! Go with her! Go with him! Go with them! Go! 

Go happy! Go sad! Go uncertain! Go mad! Go!

Time.

                                                          Time. Written by Tom Waits

Pit er
Pat er
Pit er Pa t
Errr
Pit r pa
tt rr
P i t e r
P a t e r
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
Patter
Pitter
April
Showers
Bring
Muddy
Trousers

"I know what it's like to feel lonely. I know that over the years you have longed for connections deep and meaningful, but have felt disconnected. Im sorry you've struggled. Life is hard. I think there's beauty in solitude. And where you're at now sounds beautiful."

- Letter from a friend

In Spring,
the thorns are covered
by the blossoming flower.

I function and communicate on a spiritual level. That makes living more fulfilling and more complex. The whales understand. The animals do too. They just walk funny.

Don't throw things on the ground! It's Earth Day!

Coming out of the woodwork

These things are coming out of the trees around here! While they're sorta cute and sad looking, they're also very vicious and sharp!

Singing to the Little Eagles Today!

To All the little eagles upon their golden wings
Today we'll come and rescue you with a hopeful song we'll sing!

www.facebook.com/brianvoganandhisgoodbuddies

Playing at Little Eagles school, downtown Seattle today!

Usually what you don't see is right in front of your face, and what you do see is a mirage behind you.

Faircompanies.com

The Funniest Commercial in the World!

             

                                                              Thank you Kmart!

          O   n   e    

         

            G  O  O  D   

         D  a  y

       D  e  s  e  r  v  e  s

    A  N  O  T  H  E   R

 *    *

 (    >    )

U

JOY

H a p p y

H a p p y

J O Y

J O Y 

H E R E

C O M E S

T H E

L I G H T

T H A T

S H I N E S

F O R  T H E

W H O L E

W O R L D !

I'm Younger Than That Now

I've never been so young in all my life
It's not a fountain I've found it's not vitality
I've never been so green in a red world
It's not the color but the experience.
My heels are soft my hair is trim
There is no wool growing on my skin.
A wise man once wore my shoes;
The shoes have worn out all their use
You cant (very well) wear an old hat
If that hat don't fit like it did.
But an old wise man once whispered,
"You just gotta keep doing what you've always done,"
As we stood on golden shores of achievement together.
Does the same advice still stand,
when you're head is buried in the sand?
"Help! Help! Help! I can't speak!" I cry out in my mind
Just sever my body and let the tide take care.
But don't say I (didn't) let myself go without trying.
Youth has become me as wisdom has returned to its writer
God giveth and God takith away
My image mirrors my loss.
I will write because this is so and this is now:
All the doctors have exclaimed in unison,
"You've lost your time! You've lost your time!"
But they are doctors, who can see only the outside
They aren't speechless, floating in a vessel
They've got things to do! Money to make!
But that's how I know they're right,
They have to be quick with truth
Like a stealy jab
And be gone.
Because, time out of mind, is contagious.
Because, no one (really) wants to go back
To their childhood.

Mind, the Gap, in You.

A broken heart shatters the mind too
makes you forget the past you
whatever broke the moment therein
the future ceases with every whim
an unexpected ghost you become
the limbo bursts your back
a deep knife wound photograph
and someone saying you can
always or never go back
that picture is you
before the cripple inside
before the fear
that created the lie came
into your life
the fear only wanted the mystery
not the real and feeling thing
but you latched on to it like a risk
and risked it all you did
with a heart of pure trust and sensitivity
being that was who you are
your foolish blind love
was the only kind of creativity
you had no secrets that stirred queries
for you were wide open juicy affection
you were you the golden loon
you were you the silly buffoon
and you trusted the lie was the truth
how were you to know
you weren't the lie
you weren't the fear
surely not, you were
a beggar, a pleader, a hopeless believer
seeking communion with desire
forgetting what was before
the want wasn't there.

First Wake

I was born in 1978,
Must have been like any mundane day
My father had to work
He couldn't be late -
Mid summer sweat in July
Packing meat in a truck
Veal, ribeye, tenderloin, etc
The blood of lambs

The Head and the Heart

"I get lost in my mind
I get lost in my mind
I get lost."

I cant fight it
Myself that I know.

The scarecrow wanted a brain
the tin man needed a heart
the cowardly lion didn't have courage
and Dorothy just wanted to get back home
so they all followed the yellow brick road.

Loneliness may point to bad decisions.

“All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.”
― Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

tags: compassion, empathy, loneliness, love

There is someone who knows this about me, who believes this about me, and for that person it's enough to love a long time. 

Happy Easter!

Message Revealed!

Some time ago,  I received a message.  I wrote it down and didn't think too much about it, not realizing where it really came from and what it really meant. I thought it was just another inspiring poem I was proud of writing. Time went on.
The rhythm of this poem always reminded me of the sound of a psalm in the Bible or something slightly Shakespearean. It rang out in my head day after day, and I wondered why. I left it out on my coffee table displayed in its tiny tattered mistakenly scrap-like look thinking the meaning would one day pop. The only thing I could think about it was that it must be referring to this desert city I was in, and how I wanted to plant and grow vegetables and farm so bad but couldn't because the desert soil was so dense, hard and dry.  I thought this came from my spite of the state I was living in geographically.
Time went on. Seasons changed. Circumstances changed. Physicalities changed. I put the little note in a box. I moved out of the desert. And later on I changed. All the while this poem or whatever it was lingered in the back of my mind. More time went on.
But at 3am on a very dark moonless night on top of a quiet mountain in the corner of the north American continent I was alone in my room grieving many things. Regretting many things I'd done.
Within a cloud of darkness, pain and hopelessness without joy. I fell down on my knees and begged God to speak to me. To help me. Somehow.
The flash in my mind at that instant was this tiny scrap piece of papaya paper with these words by now I had forgotten.
And in that instant, their meaning was revealed to me. This was not just a poem I wrote. It was not about my spite for the desert. I had not written this at all. In fact, it was written to me!
God spoke to me! Yes, that's right, this message is about me!
I was the thorns! God is the sower! And the peace, love AND JOY of Jesus, enduring through the trials of his life for us, is the seed! God was trying to tell ME something about myself way back then!
I was too busy being a thorn while wondering why my belief didn't flower! I believed, yet I suffered because I didn't know what I was missing. I didn't know I was the thorn!
I didn't know the Lord praised God even in His anguish, humiliation and suffering! I didn't get the other half of His message! Praise God in all things! And joy and blessings follow!
Had I been more "in-tune" would I have understood then? I don't know! But that doesn't matter! I understand now, Praise be to God!
During the years in the desert God blessed my life richly beyond my imagination. But I was a thorn. In my own side. I grumbled in pain over things I had no control over. I was caught up in a whirlwind roller coaster of emotions yet, God kept blessing me with so much, kept granting me trials, kept putting it in front of my face, saying "Be joyful in all things for you believe in Jesus!" "He is joyful! He is praising me! The Holy Spirit is joyful!" "He is with you!" "Praise me!" Accept the joy Christ felt even through his persecution!" "I love you, as Christ loved, and still does."
He wrote me this message though, in all my thorniness, in all my hardened soil, knowing, it would take a mountain that I would climb in order to understand it.
The mystery, glory, and joy of our Lord, Jesus Christ.
Praise be to God! 

The Greatest Artist Had to Outdo Himself.

The miraculous design creation and function of God's human race is the finest reaction to the creation of the Earth.

Praise.

For all things that are
For all that has happened
For everything
For everyone
For all pain discomfort and struggle
For all uncertainty challenge and confusion
For all joy happiness and love
For the darkness and the light
For life and for death
For all
Praise God!

Let's do that.
Let's put our things together,
Our papers and pencils and typewriters
And suitcases filled with ink and art
And the guitar and a drum
And call ourselves The Trumpets
And stand on the corner professing
Something about life and what it isn't
But at least we've got each other
To help us make believe its real.
Let's do that.

International Women's Day 2013

To all the woman in our lives.

2 Agreements

“The beginning of love is the will to let those we love be perfectly themselves, the resolution not to twist them to fit our own image. If in loving them we do not love what they are, but only their potential likeness to ourselves, then we do not love them: we only love the reflection of ourselves we find in them”
― Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

“The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.”
― Kalu Ndukwe Kalu

tags: hope, inspiration, inspirational, life, truth

Talk about it

"Sometimes this human stuff is slimy and pathetic...
but better to feel it and talk about it and walk through it
than to spend a lifetime being silently poisoned."

-- Anne Lamott

Living the Dream Worn Out

5am alone
Train whistle blowing
Cold dead poverty
Frozen feet bitterness
Looking for my wisdom tooth
Frigid creaking bones
Insomnia alone
Queen Anne's hill
The stillness of truth

Total Eclipse

                                               
                                                       My experimental photography.

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.”

Leo F. Buscaglia quotes (American guru, tireless advocate of the power of love, 1924-1998)

"In Search of the Miraculous"

To see the roles, to know one’s repertoire, particularly to know its limitedness, is to know a great deal. But the point is that, outside his repertoire, a man feels very uncomfortable should something push him if only temporarily out of his rut, and he tries his hardest to return to any one of his usual roles. Directly he falls back into the rut everything at once goes smoothly again and the feeling of awkwardness and tension disappears. This is how it is in life; but in the work, in order to observe oneself, one must become reconciled to this awkwardness and tension and to the feeling of discomfort and helplessness. Only by experiencing this discomfort can a man really observe himself. And it is clear why this is so. When a man is not playing any of his usual roles, when he cannot find a suitable role in his repertoire, he feels that he is undressed. He is cold and ashamed and wants to run away from everybody. But the question arises: What does he want? A quiet life or to work on himself? If he wants a quiet life, he must certainly first of all never move out of his repertoire. In his usual roles he feels comfortable and at peace. But if he wants to work on himself, he must destroy his peace. To have them both together is in no way possible. A man must make a choice. But when choosing the result is very often deceit, that is to say, a man tries to deceive himself. In words he chooses work but in reality he does not want to lose his peace. The result is that he sits between two stools. This is the most uncomfortable position of all. He does no work at all and he gets no comfort whatever. But it is very difficult for a man to decide to throw everything to the devil and begin real work. And why is it difficult? Principally because his life is too easy and even if he considers it bad he is already accustomed to it. It is better for it to be bad, yet known. But here there is something new and unknown. He does not even know whether any result can be got from it or not. And besides, the most difficult thing here is that it is necessary to obey someone, to submit to someone. If a man could invent difficulties and sacrifices for himself, he would sometimes go very far. But the point here is that this is not possible. It is necessary to obey another or to follow the direction of general work, the control of which can belong only to one person. Such submission is the most difficult thing that there can be for a man who thinks that he is capable of deciding anything or of doing anything. Of course, when he gets rid of these fantasies and sees what he really is, the difficulty disappears. This, however, can only take place in the course of work. But to begin to work and particularly to continue to work is very difficult and it is difficult because life runs too smoothly.”  

- G.I.Gurdjieff
 P.D. Ouspensky, Chapter 12, "In Search of the Miraculous"

Bad Poems.

When the words don't present themselves in any other form but the mundane everyday passing language we use to clear our throats.

I'm Thankful.

I'm thankful for the roof,
I'm thankful for the walls,
I'm thankful for the bed,
and I'm thankful for the stall.

I'm thankful for the warmth,
I'm thankful for the clothes,
I'm thankful for the food,
And I'm thankful for the hose.

I'm thankful for the people,
The family, the friends, and the wanderers
I'm thankful for the words,
The kindness, the help, and the responders

I'm thankful for my eyes,
My ears, my mouth, and my nose
I'm thankful for my feet,
My legs, my knees and elbows
I'm thankful for my arms,
My hands, my fingers, and thumbs,
I'm thankful for my smile,
My lips, my teeth, and my gums.

I'm thankful for my skin,
My hair, my nails, and face,
I'm thankful for my senses,
My brain, my mind, and my love
I'm thankful for my soul,
My inspiration, my light, my heart
I'm thankful that I am God's
Working sculpture of fine art.

May God Bless and Keep You Always...

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”
― Bob Marley

Looking at the Mirror. Quotes of Truth

It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head.  ~Sally Kempton,Esquire, 1970

It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not.  ~Attributed to Hanoch McCarty

Whether you think you can or think you can't - you are right.  ~Henry Ford

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know.  Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.  ~Buckminster Fuller

Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.  ~Peter T. Mcintyre

Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.  ~Norman Vincent Peale

Your value is the product of your thoughts.  Do not miscalculate your self worth by multiplying your insecurities.  ~Dodinsky

Always hold your head up, but be careful to keep your nose at a friendly level.  ~Max L. Forman

I was thinking of my patients, and how the worst moment for them was when they discovered they were masters of their own fate.  It was not a matter of bad or good luck.  When they could no longer blame fate, they were in despair.  ~Anaïs Nin

Your problem is you're... too busy holding onto your unworthiness.  ~Ram Dass

Don't be distracted by criticism.  Remember - the only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you.  ~Zig Ziglar

Like a bridge.

I Do Care.

I don't care,
What any one says.
I love you more than
Reality and time. 

a peace of cake.

                                Sometimes, just a piece of cake, can make you smile.

“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath

"I Trust Your Judgement."

If it wasn't for the love of chosen people in our lives whom we trust enough to let hold the mirror upon our self to see what they see when things get out of our self control, then we'd all be out of control. And we wouldn't learn how to love, or live.

Amour

I just went to see a film called Amour. When I walked out of the theatre into the dense fog, I have never felt more deceased. This movie is about strong love.

If You Win You Lose.

Fixing a Hole.

Fixing a hole when the rain gets in
Stops my mind from wondering
Where it will go