“God, but life is loneliness, despite all the opiates, despite the shrill tinsel gaiety of "parties" with no purpose, despite the false grinning faces we all wear. And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter - they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long. Yes, there is joy, fulfillment and companionship - but the loneliness of the soul in its appalling self-consciousness is horrible and overpowering.”
― Sylvia Plath

"I Trust Your Judgement."

If it wasn't for the love of chosen people in our lives whom we trust enough to let hold the mirror upon our self to see what they see when things get out of our self control, then we'd all be out of control. And we wouldn't learn how to love, or live.

Amour

I just went to see a film called Amour. When I walked out of the theatre into the dense fog, I have never felt more deceased. This movie is about strong love.

If You Win You Lose.

Fixing a Hole.

Fixing a hole when the rain gets in
Stops my mind from wondering
Where it will go

The Olive on a Tree

It's Sunday, four days of unfading fog has broken by the rays of the warm sun!
And there are words on the lips of my heart.
Thank you,  are these words.
Even though the forest misses the trees
Like the flower loves to bloom, thank you.
For giving me a chance to love you
And for loving me with so much heart.
For making me feel like the tallest tree in the desert
For helping me in a way that is uniquely your own.
Thank you for spending so much time and effort
I see the gentleness of lovers and then my new world
And nothing is like theirs, but I thank you for yours
And hope you can feel the sun that shines through me toward you
When I think of you, in my heart and in my mind
Today it is of gratitude that I can reflect in to
Thank you for loving me and wanting the best for me
The forest is thankful for the rain that grows the tree.

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing,
there is a field. I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass,
the world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase each other
doesn't make any sense.

- Rumi


Birdsong brings relief
to my longing
I'm just as ecstatic as they are,
but with nothing to say!
Please universal soul, practice
some song or something through me!

- Rumi

Crowded House

Every day I wake up with another song on my heart.

Interesting findings at the beach

 On a beautiful December 21st, I walked down to the beach to see what the day would bring.

 Multiple trees washed up with the same letters carved into them. They all appear to be main-masts from a very old ship wrecked long ago.

No nails or screws. Someone constructed this arrow pointing in a fixed direction. So I followed.

What a beautiful day it was.

And in the emerald forest you'll find glowing majestic living things like this!

Truly He is Born!

Apple Tree Concentrate.

If I ever saw a suit axe beefing in the ring with wild cats on the punch, Mohammed Ali Baba wouldn't stand a chance against these ruffian tigers nashing!  Gggggrrrrowl! Wow! Get back! I get it! Go tell it on the mountain! So many cats in one basket there's bound to be a squeel! Put down your dukes! And your straw filled boots you scarecrows and get yourself off the stairs! There's plenty water in the ocean... You just can't drink it!

The light is shining warmly.

Contradiction Pigeon.

Did you ever stop to think about the people we kill?
They're always the people who tell us to live together
in harmony and try to love one another;

Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy,
Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X,
Martin Luther King, John Lennon.

They all said: "Try to live together peacefully."
BAM! Right in the fuckin' head.
Apparently we're not ready for that!

- George Carlin

I'm having some breakfast and coffee on First Hill at the Corner Cafe today, and I remember how I've always felt sad seeing people in a restuarant eating alone.

Some people might persecute you for your personality.
In todays winds of change, through the eyes of much of the American youth, so many people are dismissed as "awkward". Every time I hear a person say, "whew, THAT was awkward!" after talking to someone they didn't know and was "different" to them, I wonder... Why was that awkward, asking that stranger where the bathroom is? The guy seemed introverted, and a bit shy, but answered helpfully. So what! He's not the hip, bubbly, overly outgoing, entertaining person you expect people to be? So what! He's him. You're you. He/She might be totally comfortable in their skin. And you might not be. Or vise versa.
The same goes for so many "different" personality types.
Sometimes I do something similar when it comes to judging myself..
You may know what people are expecting in common social situations, and know when they are let down from their own expectations. I have spent almost a lifetime researching the patterns and changes in social cultures.
In 2013, social influence supersedes most impressionable young people over anything else. What they say and do is micro-capsulated by what they see through the bubble they live in.
Which is why everything out of their perfect norm seems odd or awkward to them. They live in a bubble. A bubble of style. A bubble of television or radio. A bubble of music. A bubble of spirituality. A bubble of religion. A bubble of family. A bubble of solitude.  A bubble of work. A bubble of politics. A bubble of particulars.
In most cases of being stuck in your bubble, your conclusion of the outsider will always end up the same: they're not like you. They don't quite fit. They don't fit your expectations. They're not like everyone else you know.
The worst persecution someone can face may even come from within their own family.
Now THAT is awkward. Awkward because no one should feel this way in the presence of family.
If your own family has a hard time with your presence, social cultures may be interfering with perception and expectation. Within a family, this is never comfortable to respond to.
Whats missing here is the lack of the understanding of love.
You may love yourself enough, and you may love your family too, but if you don't see and feel welcoming love from your own family members because you are different in some ways, you may feel the opposite of that.

LIVING LIFE WITH A GOOD HEART The Antidote to Selfishness By Lama Thubten Yeshe

There is no way to get everlasting satisfaction unless you change your attitude from one of holding yourself to one where you open your heart and dedicate yourself to others. If you can do this, you are guaranteed of satisfaction and will never be lazy. The selfish mind is incredible, worse than a knife in your heart. Selfishness kills you, destroys your life. All the political troubles in the world today come from the selfish attitude. It doesn't matter what the object of your selfishness is - your own reputation, your own nation, the planet's resources, money the selfish attitude is the main troublemaker. We kill each other because of the self-cherishing thought, holding ourselves dear and not worrying about the welfare of others. All bad relationships - between husband and wife, guru and disciple - come from the selfish attitude. When you think about it, you can see that every problem on earth comes from being concerned for oneself instead of others. Selfishness is painful, really painful. If you want to be free of the pain in your heart, open it by developing universal concern for others, bringing all sentient beings into your heart as much as you possibly can. That is the antidote to the selfish attitude that is the pain in your heart. I truly believe that this is the way to liberation.

Oh dears.

Usually, little children say the most completely obvious yet randomly valuable and crushingly adorable things that fill me with joy in the most needed moments.

A Happy New Year.

 "Happy new year, Year!"
"Happy new year, Luke.
The sun is shining, the sky is blue, the seagulls are flying, it'll be a good year for you."